Any consideration of social skills needs to take account of the modern hi-tech age in which we live. Kids spend hours and hours each day with the devices –with the result that they spend many fewer hours interacting with people. You can readily see this when you go to a restaurant and watch families dining “together.” An increasingly common scene is a couple of adults (often talking on cell phones) and one or more kids—each holding and concentrating on a separate device.
Mealtimes are known to offer great opportunities for pleasant interaction. So the effects of the high-tech age are not simply in reducing interaction time, but in transforming some of the best opportunities for interaction into solo journeys. A recent study in England found that over 20 per cent of families who bring tech to the table feel they are prevented from having proper conversations with each other at meal times, seriously impacting on what should be quality time together. Interestingly, Steve Jobs made public statements about supporting the idea of “limiting how much technology our kids use at home.”
So in today’s world, the first key step in helping children to become more social is to limit “screen time.” Those limitations have to apply to yourself as well. It’s vital to ensure that you set aside times where you and your children have truly free time together to enjoy each other’s company and discuss any and all issues that might come up.
When you first implement this pattern, be prepared for some resistance because the call of the devices is powerful. If this occurs, avoid getting into heated discussions where you attempt to explain and justify the new patterns. Just make sure the time stays free and offers opportunities for pleasurable exchange. This can include having games available, watching movies together, reading books together and looking through photographs.
Without any stress or sense of pedantic teaching, these encounters will impart valuable social skills such as learning to listen, staying with a conversation, showing empathy towards others, building rapport, knowing how and when to talk about oneself and practicing a whole range of non-verbal social skills including eye contact, smiling and body movements. As Robert Fulghum, author of All I Really Needed to Learn in Kindergarten stated, “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” You are a central role model for your child and if you engage in “quality time,” the effects on your child’s social skills can be enormous.
Dr. Marion Blank has spent over forty years studying how children learn to read and is recognized by her peers as one of the world’s top experts in literacy and language. In addition to being the co-founder and Chairperson of the Reading Kingdom, she also serves on the faculty of Columbia University where she developed and ran the Light on Learning Program.Dr. Blank obtained her Ph.D. in Medical Psychology from the University of Cambridge in England.
She then went to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine where she participated in a research unit on human behavioral development and directed the teaching program of the Interdisciplinary Training Program. Subsequently, she was a Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Rutgers Medical School where she directed the research unit in reading disabilities.
Among her many achievements, she has lectured extensively around the globe, served as a consultant to government bureaus in many different countries, received numerous awards and commendations, authored the widely used Preschool Language Assessment Instrument (PLAI), developed the award-winning and highly successful Sentence Master computer program that teaches reading, created the Phonics Plus Five Reading Program, and written over sixty articles and seven books on language and literacy.
Her latest book is The Reading Remedy. Described by Kirkus Reviews as “an invaluable resource,” The Reading Remedy explains Dr. Blank’s reading system in depth. In addition to her work at Columbia University, Dr. Blank operates a private practice in New York and New Jersey where she is a licensed psychologist. Additionally, she serves as a consultant to a wide range of school districts in the tri-state area of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut.
Dr. Blank is a member and fellow of the American Psychological Association and a member of the Association of Children with Learning Disabilities. She has served on the editorial boards of a number of journals concerned with the issues of language and learning (e.g., Child Development, Applied PsychoLinguistics, Early Child Development and Care) as well as the boards of numerous committees including the William T. Grant Foundation and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Dr. Blank has also made numerous television appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, FOX and the BBC.
Dr. Blank has devoted her life to helping children learn to read, and she has used her innovative methods to help literally thousands of kids. Now, with her groundbreaking new reading program, The Reading Kingdom, she is making her system available to every parent.