Don’t forget your partner during the holiday madness.

The holidays can be such a busy time! Don’t forget your partner!

By Lori Ann Davis


You know, all the children’s activities, spending time with the relatives, cooking, shopping, and cleaning.  The holidays can be a whirlwind of activity. During all of this madness, how to you find time for your partner. They need some of your undivided attention too. Wouldn’t it be nice to put that spark back into your relationship, just in time for the holidays?

Need some ideas? Here are my 5 favorites:

  • Make a list of all the things you love about your partner. The qualities that are unique to him/her.  For example: the way you laugh at my jokes, even when they aren’t that funny!  The way your face lights up when you see me. I love the way you smell…. You get the idea.  Now it is time to share your list.  You can plan a night out and share over dinner; you could plan a romantic night in and share your list over candles and music.  The other option is to share your list one at a time, maybe sending them in a text, one a day. You could use post-it notes and leave one a day on the bathroom mirror.  How you deliver the message isn’t as important as the feeling you get when you do so.  You and your partner will feel “in love” again when you focus on all the positives.  Think how special he/she will feel.
  • Set aside some time just for your partner. You are busy giving to everyone else, set aside time for your relationship.  Tell your partner that you are all theirs to do whatever they want. Let them know that you appreciate all they do for you and this is your gift in return, your undivided attention!  You can decide if this is for a whole day, half a day, or one evening.   You can even write a handwritten invitation that you give them ahead of time.
  • Recreate your first date or a special date that means a lot to the two of you.  If this is impossible then plan a romantic date and spend time remembering that first date and all the other special times you have had together. IF you are too busy to do this right now, give them an IOU and set a date for the near future.
  • For the next week, send a text your partner randomly throughout the day telling him/her how much you love them, how much they mean to you, or that you are thinking of them.  Send flirty, playful texts, or share an inside joke, anything that will let them know how important they are to you and that you are thinking of them.  This is a great way to reconnect with your partner and I recommend doing it on a regular basis.
  • Give him/her the gift of you; yes, I am talking about sex.  Physical intimacy is essential to a good relationship and is one of the best ways to tell your partner you love them. The connection you share during lovemaking is unlike any other bond.   Start with an extra hug and kiss in the morning, tell them how nice they look, send hints throughout the day, build up the anticipation.  Then enjoy reconnecting!

I hope you find these ideas helpful and they get you started thinking about some of your own.

Enjoy Reconnecting


0061-0640web400Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS

Certified Relationship Specialist


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