A little Self-Care for Mom goes a long way to finding Meaning and Purpose.
I know. I know. You saw the title to this piece and are thinking, What is she thinking? Her kids are grown up. Doesn’t she remember that being a mom leaves no time for anything! Well, it’s true, my kids are adults now. But I do remember what it was like juggling two small children’s lives while also being a wife and working mother. I’m a guilty as anyone for believing that my kids and husband came first, and if there was any time left over for me…yeah, right, there was hardly any time left over for me. So, I get it.
I also get that I had a lot of wrong ideas when I was a young mother. Some of this was cultural. When I was a mom, working women were just becoming a potent force in society, and a lot of what then had been social norms were undergoing an upheaval. There were few role models on how to juggle being a wife, mother and full time worker, and the books and articles written about this talked about creating balance in all three of those areas. What got left out was the fourth component: Self care. It was just assumed that once you got all the other areas of your lives worked out, you’d have time left over for yourself. In the early days of my children’s lives, that’s how it worked for me. I was able to do it all and have a life outside of my family and work duties.
Then came some years when work and family totally consumed me, and that time spent doing things just because I wanted to began to dwindle away slowly. Without realizing it, this resulted in years of neglecting myself that is not honoring myself for all the great things there are about me. Not a good idea. But I didn’t know any better.
It took me a long time to understand that I had made a conscious choice to not pay special attention to myself, and that making this choice led to bouts of anxiety and self-doubt. I realized that if I had taken the time to appreciate myself and done some quality self care, I would have had greater confidence in myself and probably been happier, too.
I don’t want you making the same mistakes that I did. Dream Dates for Moms is a way for you to create some valuable “me” time by doing something that makes yourself feel special. I also understand that it’s much easier to carry out a Dream Date when you have the luxury of unlimited time and no children bugging you every half second for their attention.
Take a dive (pardon the pun) into this video that addresses that issue and more.
Here’s an example of how the Dream Date in this video played out in real life. Recently I spent time with my daughter and her family, and we took a trip to the community pool in their area.She created time for her Dream Date by asking all of us for help. It was a total win-win situation. I tended the baby and got some quality grandma bonding time, while my son-in-law and husband happily took turns accompanying my grandson forrides on the pool’s giant slide. This gave my daughter a good twenty minutes to spend some time for herself alone in the pool. Time to remember, time to think, time to relax, time to do whatever she wanted, all by herself in the serenity of the cool refreshing water. Think about it. Gather your village together and go on a Dream Date.
You’ll all be happier for it.
Debbie Spector Weisman, empowers dreamers to live a life they love through her Dream-Life Coaching practice. More information about her services at www.thedreamcoach.net.