Kids want stuff for the Holiday’s, but here’s what they really need.
By Lori Ann Davis
The holidays will be here before we know it! If you haven’t starting buying gifts yet, you will be soon. If your children are old enough to write, they will be adding to their ever growing list of must have’s on a daily basis. I am in the same boat as you. I am trying to decide what they really need, what they will actually use, what I have the money to buy, and what I want them to own! I love the excitement of buying gifts, the anticipation of them opening them, and watching the look on their face when they do.
There is another part of me that kicks in this time of year and begins to wonder on a deeper level what do our children really need? I mean beyond the things we can buy in the store. What is really important for them to grow up to be emotionally healthy, happy adults.
I was watching my girls happily playing the other day. They didn’t have a care in the world. They were completely engrossed in being a carefree child. I was sitting at my computer working and they didn’t realize I was even there. They were so full of joy and innocence. I began to wonder what can I do to help them move through life holding on to even a small sense of that happiness.
Here are a few of my ideas. What do you think?
- Unconditional Love
One of the most important things we can give our children is unconditional love. Most people have heard this term but what does it really mean and how do we give it to our children? Children need to feel valued and wanted by their parents. They need to know they are accepted for who they are, not just when they are doing what we want. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to let them know we value them as a whole person. This means the good sides and the not so good sides of their personalities. What an amazing gift to give someone, to accept them for who they are at all times. This does not mean you do not discipline them or teach them right from wrong but you do value them as a person always and they know it!
- Time to be a child
I was watching my girls dance in the kitchen the other day. They were completely engaged in expressing themselves and having fun! They had no concerns about what they looked like, how they were performing, or what anyone else thought of their performance. They were completely happy just being a children. As parents, we can get so caught up in sending our children to lessons and keeping them busy that we forget they are children. I am not saying lessons and activities are bad, but do our children have enough time to play and enjoy their childhood? Structured activities are ok but not necessary for a child to grow up emotionally healthy. It is necessary for them to have enough free time to explore their world and enjoy simple pleasure in life. I believe we have a generation of children who are far too dependent on being entertained and kept busy.
- Spend quality time together
The other essential thing our children need from us is our time and attention. Some of my favorite memories as a child are sitting in my grandmother’s lap while she read to me. I felt completely safe, loved, cherished and accepted. It was very clear to me that there was no place she would rather be. So carve time out of your busy daily life to spend quality time with your children. Tuck them in at night, give hugs and kisses, read to them, eat dinner together, or spend time talking about their day. Let your children know they are worthy of your time and attention and that you love them for who they are, not just for what they do.
How children are raised will affect their relationship with themselves and others when they become adults. We bring our upbringing into our adult relationships, usually without even realizing it. Our children and their futures are worth our time, attention and effort
Lori has a unique and passionate approach to love and relationships and believes that everyone deserves and can have the relationship of their dreams. Her mission is to provide you with the skills you need to have the unstoppable relationship you deserve.She has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives. Her practice spans the spectrum from dating and singles to working through divorce to renewing long-term marriages. She is the author of: Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life. Visit her website!