As the token guy here at Meaningful Mom Magazine I have had many conversations with Mom’s that really undervalue themselves and it made me realize this is not just a Mom issue but Mom’s are really the most important key to solving the really scary problems this world has right now.
Yes the truth is that you have skills your probably are not taking full advantage. The question to find out is if this is true “Do you blend in? or fight to express your special gift?” If the answer is no you don’t spend time at least every week developing, challenging and growing a skill that you love, then keep reading.
Usually we have been invited to nurture the things we love to do, our energizing activities, just have been pushed out of our schedule because, well, they have been lowered in importance, and perhaps forgotten.
It is no small thing that you are alive. That you are able to do what you do. It is no small thing that in the history of humanity that you are awake, able and conscious of yourself and your community, or are you?
There is great pressure to ignore your gift and fit in, forgoing the gift you have to give to the world because it is easier to just go along with the “expected or acceptable.”
It can be exhausting to do the daily work and survive in this world, no matter to build and share your gift. And make no mistake your gift is important and vital to you, the community you live in, and to generations of the entire world.
This exhaustion is what we need to talk about. Turns out you need to make some changes to save your energy for what is really, really important for humanity. Yes, you are important, possibly vital to the solution of this worlds big problems.
And please spare me the even more degrading conversations that you and your “small gift” can’t be that important. I hear this as an excuse for things like not to vote, wrong thinking….
Most of us have been under estimating ourselves for far too long and believing the lies we have been told. It goes something like “your gift, your talent is not marketable or profitable” and so we put our energy into something that is, or was and end up unhappy weather we are successful or not. Again, BULLSHIT! Your gift is vital to a community even if that community doesn’t seem to care at all.
Make the choice to stop and be fully aware of what is happening with you, your partner, parents, children, coworkers , and neighbors. Let their hearts matter to you for a moment, and value your self more, you are worthy and valuable more than I can tell you here. Wake up! This is not the first time you have heard, felt or seen the potential you have and there is something very important about what is happening right now with your decision process.
If you choose to value yourself, if we choose to value each other our gifts can be shared in ways we have not yet imagined.
The action you take each day to value yourself and your contempories in the coming weeks and months, as you lean into what your good at, what energizes you, can be a catalyst for all of humanity to be changed, and for a much better outcome than we are destined to achieve without you, yes you!
It is not easy to build your craft and hone your skills. It turns out the strengths you were born to develop are a passion that requires a long term devotion through pain and adversity, that are often over exaggerated but very real always.
When we let our old dream be broken, feel the hurt and disappointment and forgive others, ourselves and the messed up situation most of us face regularly, something big happens. We start keeping boundaries. And healthy boundaries require a whole follow up blog. For now just know that when there are healthy boundaries, all the parties are encouraged to share their hurt and desire and be heard.
This is how we rebuild a bigger dream, by leveraging what we know about forgiving the past we can connect with those that will support us as we support them.
It is not about what is commercially successful and marketable but rather how our communities can best be served. And yes that means using your gift to contribute to the solutions that have not yet been thought of…
The first step is to feel your feelings. Just write them down in one place for a couple weeks and look at what you are feeling, who you are with and what you are doing.
You will be shocked at what comes out of this simple yet powerful habit.
Next up… using those feelings to show you what relational tools to use and when. Oh and here is a feeling wheel we have been using for 16 years to help you
Jami Keller is an executive Relationship Coach forPassionProvokers.com with twenty one years of relationship coaching experience, has been married to his wife and coaching partner, Marla, for 28 years and has two adult daughters, and one awesome son-in-law.