Tips on getting our kids to hear us!

How do we get our message through to ur kids? Communicating with them in their language…

by Betsy Chasse

I’ve had an epiphany….

I have a 12.5 year old (that .5 is like really important FYI) and a nine year old and I have spent the better part of their lives attempting to reach them, through beautifully crafted speeches and lectures, ones that many pay for me to deliver. And well.. my kids are like so over it.


I have, like seriously, attempted to squeeze every ounce out of every teaching moment and you know what, my kids couldn’t give a rats patotty…


They are  bored with me yammering on about kindness, compassion, empathy, perspectives, emotional intelligence and even though I attempt to model it, sometimes, as a mom, I feel the need to explain all this important stuff and they stand there, eye rolling, fidgeting and hoping it will al be over soon…


And so recently I’ve taken a new tact, I’ve tried a new strategy and it involves the tech they love so much. Texting, Instagram and Snapchat (yes if you haven’t already, you should download these apps and get to now them, because even if your kids don’t have a smart phone, they know them, their friends do and they use them)


So instead of the long lecture, I observe, I experience their behavior and then sometime within the next 24 hours and then for days afterwards I use these amazing apps to communicate with them.


I send them a text everyday with something like… What kid of day are you creating?, You are in charge of your experience ya know… I post images on Instagram and snap chat that reinforce concepts like attitude is everything, kindness, empathy in the language that they speak and you now what… I think it’s working…or maybe I’m delusional.


But it feels better to me. I remember the long lectures my parent gave and how adept I became at smiling and nodding while ignoring them and I realize that regardless of the new modern tech, they are kids, like I was, and the last thing we want is for our parents to teach us anything,…and so I’ve stopped teaching and am embracing their world, and sharing the wisdom of others who they  might hear.


Because it doesn’t matter where they get it…as long as they do…


I am happy to report, I think my kids are.


B & E2CBetsy Chasse is an award winning filmmaker and author and the publisher and editor of Meaningful Mom Magazine. learn more about her at her website.


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